Breaking The Wall

Oh how I wish homeschooling were a sprint. I could train, prepare, and generally psych myself up for the challenge. Then, in one fell swoop it would be over and I could rest. But homeschooling is most definitely NOT a sprint. It's more a marathon...NO...it's one of those super long endurance runs that cross continents. A run that at times feels great, like we've hit our stride perfectly, and at other times feels like we are crawling along searching for the next aid station. A run that seems to have no finish line and no medals handed out along the way.

Now, I've never run an actual marathon (though I would like to someday) but I've heard others speak of THE WALL. The 'I cannot take another step or I will die' stage of the run where you just. can't. go. on. Recently a friend told me that most homeschoolers hit a similar burnout era at around 7/8 years.

The proverbial wall.

Well...I'm there. Or, truth be told, I should say that I have been there for the last year. That's right. A YEAR. A year of muddling through our days. A year of tearful phone calls to my husband. A year of others (and my own thoughts) telling me that my life would be so much easier if I would just put the kids in school...any school. A year of crying out to God for an answer, begging for relief.

The shocker? There is no quick fix. No easy answer.

But, since this blog is for my personal reflection here are some things that are helping me currently:

• Continued prayer even if I don't 'see' the answer.
• A loooooong break. Months, not weeks.
• A vacation. We camped in the mountains for two weeks. Very restorative.
• A sweet husband who says enough is enough and takes action where needed.
• Taking time to focus on my health. Eating right, exercising, and taking vitamins.
• Authentic relationships. Friendships where it's safe to say I'm having a terrible day.
• Taking it back to basics. Focusing on getting the basics accomplished. Only the basics and that is ok.
• Adjusting expectations.
• Park Days.
• Having a friday Co-Op again.
• Taking a break from 'homeschool' reading. (You know, the magazines with the perfect families on the cover)
• Focusing on the strengths of my individual children instead of comparing them to...anything.
• Letting go of the perceived expectations of well-meaning others.
• Finding a good support group where I can go to laugh, be inspired, and know that I am not alone in what I am going through.

We truly feel like God has called us to homeschool our children for the long haul. Yes, it has been fun at times, but it is most definitely not easy. It takes perseverance, endurance, patience, and apparently I needed to grow ABUNDANTLY in these areas because here I am. At the wall. And while I can honestly say that I don't think this wall is broken, some bricks have fallen and I can now see through it.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

(Hebrews 12:1-2 ESV)